Yes, I’ve been told to stick to the facts, m’am, when writing. However, occasionally a “joke” rears its not-too-funny head in my brain, and this sort of nonsense erupts because of it.

p.s. If any of these jokes gives you a hint of a smile then I’ve done my job. And if that does not occur, don’t blame me. I warned you.

October 26, 2015: 

What is Art’s favorite part of the house? The drawing room.

Which kind of dogs are very dishonest? Sleeping dogs because everybody lets them lie.

What’s the male jogger’s favorite dance? The running man.

Why don’t young goats, ie kids tell jokes? It’s hard to be inspired when their moms’ reaction is just a bunch of “ewes.”

How come the insulting person who took things literally couldn’t close his mouth? It’s hard to do when there’s a 12-inch ruler lodged inside of it.

What do you call it when a woman’s reproductive organ takes a message for you? Using her answering cervix.

What’s the best way to hurt a vampire’s feelings? Tell him he has no life, and to instruct him to “reflect” on that for awhile. Then tell him he makes a horrible blood pudding to put the last nail in his proverbial coffin.

Can one dog produce two separate growls simultaneously? Guess it depends on how hungry it is.

What’s it called when the mafia keeps its eye on something? Mobservation

Aug. 8, 2016:

Q – What do you call someone who would give their life for rolled back prices?

A – Walmartyr

2020 & 2021:

What event do married monkeys celebrate every year? Their bananniversary.

Knock, knock, who’s there? Europe.

|Europe who?

No, you’re a poo!

why were the cat and dog so happy to see each other? They were Fur-miliar

Why did the mink have a bad memory? Because it fur-got easily.

If your dresser were to form a band what might it be named? – Three Drawers Down

Where does the border collie Zoey leave the car when she goes downtown? In the barking lot.

…He watches so much TV that he thought a “commercial cleaner” was someone who only did housework between show segments.

~~by Christine Lorraine Morgan published Oct. 7, 2021 Happy 60th Birthday in Heaven Matthew